You may think I'm crazy—and I am—, but cows are taking over the planet.
The Cows could very well destroy all life on this planet if we don't act fast to stop them. Let me explain.
- Global Warming
- Every time a cow burps (which they do a lot) it releases a deadly chemical into the atmosphere called Carbon Dioxide. Also, cows are burning down our rain forests so they'll have room to eat. This also accelerates global warming.
- Heart Attacks
- Cows give people heart attacks in several ways. They raise our blood-pressure when we eat them and they sometimes sneak up behind you and moo in your ear.
- California Drought
- Remember this a few years back? This was just a small attack. They've gotten stronger and will probably attack Washington, DC or NYC next.
- "Accidental" Tramplings
- Cows sometimes hunt down and kill innocent victims one by one in order to cultivate the misperception that they're just dumb animals.
How to stop them
Stopping The Cows could be difficult if more people aren't made aware of the problem. Then less cows we eat the less cows there are. We must eat fewer cows.
How Close are They To Winning?
We have a while left but not long.
The cows are already in control of half the worlds corn supplies and are trying to starve The Chickens.
Also, they may have a strategic alliance with evil squirrels.