Sylvia sat in the dining area of the local inn. 'So you see, I'm going up north to eat ice cream.'

'But they'll eat you!' said a man in the group listening to her story.

'I'm told that's not the case. Apparently, they eat ice cream, not humans.'

'Probably human-flavoured ice cream,' said another person from the group.

'Maybe she can convince them that she doesn't taste good. Rub onions all over youself and let them lick your arm for a taste test. That'll put them off.'

'I like onions with my fish!' exclaimed another lady.

'Yeah, but not in your ice cream, do you? Onion ice cream?'

'Ah!' The lady nodded. 'Good point. Onion ice cream probably wouldn't be particularly delicious.' A nearby onion merchant frowned.

'They must eat something other than just ice cream, though. Maybe they'd use you for soup.'

'That'd be delicious.'


'I mean, the onion flavour, not the her flavour.'

'Bring them fish. Teach them to eat good food like haddock and grouper.'

'These are all fantastic suggestions!' said Sylvia. 'Does anyone have a pencil so I can write them all down?'

'I lost my last pencil in the recruitment office in Sawbill,' said one guy. 'It was my favourite pencil, too.'

'It was your only pencil by then if it was your last. So of course it was your favourite.'

'I know, but I miss it.'

'Why not just by the onions now?' asked the listening onion merchant. 'That way, you'll be sure to remember to use them.'

'Won't they rot?' asked yet another listener.

'My onions are fresh fresh fresh! They won't rot for many days hense.'

'I'll take eight--no, nine!' said Sylvia happily.

'Yay!' said the onion merchant. 'I've been trying to unload these onions for weeks.'

Sylvia paid the merchant, took her fresh fresh fresh onions that he'd been trying to unload for weeks, thanked the people for their ideas, said goodnight, had goodnight and good luck said to her by all the listeners, and headed off to bed. The next morning, she awoke bright and early and headed out along the road northward. On to her exciting new life as an ice woman (or as a soup).